befriending and confessing

ok, as i've discussed previously, i'm reading Darryl Tippens' Pilgrim Heart: The Way Of Jesus In Everyday Life two chapters a week. It is the text my tuesday night Bible study group is using to initiate discussion. this week's chapters were Chapter 7: Befriending: The Mutual Regard and Care of Souls; and Chapter 8: Confessing: I Swear to Tell the Whole Truth.

Befriending: The Mutual Regard and Care of Souls

after discussing honoring the sabbath in our daily lives in the previous two chapters, an emphasis is put on friendship in chapter seven. of course there were the obvious allusions to David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, and Christ and his disciples. but there were some points he made that i particularly liked..

1. friendship as a lost art. he writes that "[p]opular culture tells us in countless ways to stand alone, to be independent, and not to tell the truths of our inner beings to anyone...and many--men and women alike--feel compelled to go it alone." couldn't agree more. society is so individualistic these days, with emphasis placed on being able to lift oneself from one's own bootstraps. and while it is important to accept responsibility in life, we can't expect ourselves to go throughout life without help. we were created for each other.
2. the importance of a "soul-friend." tippens uses this english translation of the gaelic anamchara, a concept stressed in Celtic Christianity. he quotes a story about St. Brigit where she tells a young boy: "anyone without a soul-friend is like a body without a head." this type of friend, as tippens describes it, "mentors us and holds us accountable in special ways." a soul-friend offers "protection and safety" in addition to "the virtues of love, temperance and moral accountability." As is stated in Proverbs 17:17, a familiar passage, "A friend loves at all times" and tippens takes it even further to say "yet, there is grace when we fail." this intimate relationship requires honesty and openness as well as time and "periodic renewal" but is a reflection that we show to one another of the divine love we receive from God.
3. friendship flies under the flag of freedom. when i read this, i immediately highlighted it because it came across as something extremely simple, yet profound. because although finding soul-friends means engaging in close relationships, they cannot become so tightly knit that respect for the "personhood" of the friend is lost. "friendship is not enmeshment" tippens goes on to say. he uses Augustine's reflection on a friendship he once had when he confesses, "I had poured out my soul on to the sand by loving a person sure to die as if he would never die." in making this point, tippens emphasizes the importance of balance in true friendship. 

Confessing: I Swear to Tell the Whole Truth

to me, this eighth chapter tied in very closely to the "befriending" chapter. it's emphasis was on how important it is to confess in our walk with Christ. in the first paragraph, tippens writes, "The pilgrim heart is a confessional heart, a heart that faces the truth, accepts the truth, and tells the truth--especially the truth about oneself." he then addresses the ironic approach many Christians have today toward confession, pointing out that "the Christian community's demand for respectability often increases the dishonesty" and it this dishonesty that leads to the bitterness, resentment and cynicism that all too often occurs within the fellowship. but even beyond that, confession "initiates the walk towards God and opens up the path to extraordinary possibility." admitting the truth in our wrongdoings gives us the hope for healing, the possibility of which puts the "good" in "Good News" as tippens puts it. 

one of the greatest challenges of confession is the putting aside of pride. many are comfortable with private confession to God, retreating to their private quarters. and while we are called to engage in private prayer and confession, it is not enough. tippens says, "Private prayer runs certain risks. In our solo prayers we can fool ourselves. We can think we are yielding...We can let ourselves off to easily...[without being] fully accountable..." therefore, tying into chapter seven's discussion of frienship, having an authentic 'soul-friend' is important for these purposes. 

another point tippens makes that i immediately highlighted is the following:

Christianity is much more than thinking right thoughts about God. it consists of much more than "mental acts." It is preeminently a social religion. It involves practices that include others.

we, as christians, should be bold in speaking the truth. one of my favorite scriptures is Ephesians 4:15: "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ." this, however, shouldn't be limited to speaking the truth about Christ, but also speaking the truth about ourselves, lest we become hypocritical. adopting this mentality should only reinforce a desire to avoid settling for cheap righteousness and false piety. 

lastly, tippens hits on the subject of absolution. "'absolution' is the pronouncement of the glorious truth that we have been released from our burden." this important to note because of the nature of confession. it isn't simply a statement being made by someone, it is a conversation to be had between two. as we are to confess, we are to also offer listening ears and absolution. that's not to say we are to take on some sort of special position of entitlement. we are merely communicating the promise given in Scripture that the Lord forgives the penitent. nor do we allow this status of listener to bring a sense of overwhelming burden. rather, we release those burdens to the Father. read John 20:23, 1 John 1:9, 1 John 2:12 and Matthew 9:2 in addition to many other scriptures that speak on forgiveness.

in reading both these chapters, i am reminded of how important it is to form relationships where these actions can come to fruition. thankfully i can say with confidence that i do have people in my life to whom i can make such confessions and likewise lend an ear and a hand. the bottom line is we need each other. and to anyone that might have stumbled across this today, i pray you have these soul-friends in your life as well.

here's to another week!! : )